The girls in the Grade 4 Imperial Ballet class have dramatically improved their once arched spines, lopsided hip placement and relaxed stomachs by following inventive instruction about posture during their lesson. They no longer display the casual posture of a teenage girl during their barré work within a ballet class but are gaining the control to perform the elongated and balanced posture required to present an accomplished technical dancers aiding the beautiful aesthetic line associated with ballet.
Each week a group of young teenage girls enter Power Academy of Dance ready to learn the discipline of classical ballet where they are taken on a journey of wondrous discovery of self and the marvel of the enchanting world of Classical Ballet. On Wednesday the 14th of October the students were introduced to the technical requirements of excellent posture when the teacher brought in a unique and inventive teaching tool in order to help the students comprehend what good posture means and what physical position the body had to adopt so that the ideal alignment of the body could be created. The initial response to the teaching tool was met with amusement however it enabled the students to visualise and feel elongated position of the spine and the internal feeling of the weight placement going up and over. One at a time the teacher went along the barré giving each attentive student individual encouraging feedback by guiding the movement both verbal and physical encouragement. Each one of the girls displayed an understanding of the concept through their movement. This new method of teaching introduced the technical concept of posture in a new and charismatic way as although a child is taught posture in ballet from a young age it is not given a specific name, children are told to stand up tool and effective imagery is vocalised “stand like princess”, “make sure you don’t burn your bottom or your nose in the toaster” and “don’t let me see those banana backs” so that young children can associate an instruction with something that the know, without confusing them with complicated concepts.
In each forth- coming lesson the girls were reminded at every opportunity to exert the same stance that they experienced in that first lesson and to concentrate on this in all of the exercises. Gentle prods of verbal encouragement were given when a student relaxed their posture and through this repetition of movement the student’s posture technique has vastly improved enabling the students to perform the set arrangements with grace, composure and confidence. The continuation of the development of this elongated extension of the spine, the equalised structure of the plane of the hip bones , the intense involvement of the abdominal muscles , the relaxation of the shoulders and the internal sensation of the weight dispersing up through the body and projecting over has given the students the basic tool to accomplish any of the divinely stunning ballet choreography.
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Hi Melissa
ReplyDeleteSo this is your descriptive piece. I’m going to be honest as this will be helpful for you within this task. I found it very difficult to read and keep my concentration. I find the topic interesting so I don’t think that’s the problem. The layout of the piece is too blocked; you need to break the paragraphs up to make it more inviting to read (especially the second paragraph).
You mention the “teaching tool” but it is not clear what this is? As a dancer I can guess what your “teaching tool” was but I think you need to describe this more. Why was it amusing to the children?
The piece seems very long, is it over 500 words? Have a look at each line and decide if it should be there is it needed? Are you writing in three sentences what can be written in one?
I feel that as a reader it needs to be more descriptive. I don’t feel like I am there where the class is happening. Think about your senses. Describe everything to the reader.
I hope this helps, all that said I think you have a great subject to work with. I look forward to reading your revised version. I found my descriptive piece was half descriptive and half marketing. I didn’t even notice until someone pointed it out to me.
Danielle